A Smurfy Proposal
by SilverHeart87
Summary: Magnus and his boyfriend are going to see the Smurfs movie! There will be lions, rings, rocket ships, and Twizzlers, with an appearance from some special guests! AU, AH. Crack!fic.


A/N: Okay, this should be interesting. It's based on an inside joke, actually. It's AU and AH (well, mostly), and, sadly, Alec is non-existent. He has to be for the story to work. Anil is Magnus's boyfriend, and is a pretty shy, quiet kid. This is my first attempt at crack, who knows how it's gonna turn out. It will be OOC, but it's a parody. It's not super-bad, either. Here goes nothing...

Disclaimer: I do not own the MI characters, nor do I own the Smurfs, or AVPM. I also do not own Anil, although I do know him.

A Smurfy Proposal

By SilverHeart87

Magnus eyed the lump in Anil's pants pocket as they walked into the theatre. _Oh, Anil's very excited for this movie, _Magnus thought._ Although it is somewhat small..._ He reached out to poke it, and Anil slapped his hand away, and blushed. While Magnus was thinking about how cute his blush was, and how great Anil's brownish complexion would look with some gold eyeliner and a deep blue colored hair, Anil was stewing away, sweating like a furry dragon stuck in a volcano in 90 degree weather.

_Oh, fuboom. Fuboom, fuboom, fuboom. What if he says no? If he doesn't want to? Although knowing Magnus, he will. Hopefully he won't make fun of how small I am, though._

A shouted "MAGNUS" broke Anil free of his horrible anxiety.

"Isabelle, as much as I love your dress, it does not make you need to shout," Magnus drawled, referring to Isabelle's mini that had a lip-print pattern. "Hello, Clary," he said, nodding to the redhead. "Jace." Magnus was still a bit short with Jace, as they had a brief affair when Jace had thought that Clary was cheating on him. She wasn't, of course, but Magnus hated being used. And the amount Jace had used him was almost equal to the amount of glitter Magnus would wear on special occasions.

"Magnus," Jace responded coldly. Jace didn't really appreciate the fact that Magnus had actually thought he was gay, no matter how beautiful he was. He was just using Magnus to relieve some of his pain, and he thought Magnus had known that.

Of course, Magnus had his wonderful Anil now, whom he had met at a fruit convention in Pittsburgh. Magnus and Anil were both obsessed with fruit, and enjoyed sharing it together.

Clary sighed, reprimanded the two for being so grumpy (she actually had no idea about the affair), and went up to the ticket booth. "Two tickets for the Smurfs movie, please," she asked, smiling sweetly.

"O-of course. Here you g-go," the ticket clerk, a pimply teenage boy about 16 or 17, stuttered, handing her the tickets with shaking fingers, and another piece of paper on top with numbers on it. Jace, of course, being the aggressive person he was, grabbed the piece of paper, read it, punched the clerk, grabbed Clary's hand, and stomped off to the theatre.

"Jace!" she yelled at him. "He works at the library! He was just giving me the call number of a book I wanted!" Clary stormed off towards the theatre, Jace hurrying after her.

Isabelle shook her head, glaring at the back of Jace's head with acid-tipped daggers coming out of her eyes, and followed after them.

Magnus bought tickets for himself and Anil, Anil protesting weakly, saying that he should have to pay, and Magnus ignoring him. Anil sighed, pushed his black plastic glasses farther up his nose, and followed the blue glitter road Magnus had left into the theatre.

Clary walked into the theatre, Jace right behind her. Jace, not realizing Clary stopped, kept going, and ran into Clary.

"Surprise buttsecks!" a group of boys in the back of the theatre yelled. Clary rolled her eyes, and Jace muttered, "I wish." Clary slapped him on the side of the head, and then went to go sit next to Isabelle and the wall.

"You prefer a wall over me, Clare-bear?" Jace asked, faking tears. "I thought you loved me! Besides, I'm much sexier than the wall."

"When you're being an asshole, I do prefer the wall. Besides, the wall is a better fuck than you are."

"Is not, and you know it! You were screaming my name all night long!"

The argument continued until Isabelle, tired of their fighting and also being quite nauseated, pushed Jace on top of Clary. Jace and Clary instantaneously started making out, and Isabelle, looking greener than Oscar the Grouch, left them to go find a different seat.

Meanwhile, Magnus and Anil had found seats in the very front of the theatre. Magnus hated the front, but if his darling Anil wanted it, it would have to be done.

"Oh!" Magnus exclaimed. "I forgot concessions! Anil-poo, what would you like?" Anil blushed at the nickname and muttered, "Squirt."

Magnus skipped off, out of the theatre to go get drinks.

Meanwhile, Clary and Jace were... still making out. Now on the floor. Pity the poor couple who saw Jace and Clary's empty seats above them. We'll skip them for now.

Magnus was now at the concession stand, getting very aggravated with the worker there. "But I want Squirt!"

"I'm sorry, sir," the worker replied, getting annoyed and already being bored with this conversation, and not sounding sorry at all, "but Squirt is for Harry Potter only."

Magnus snorted. "What, so now Squirt is going to help Harry Potter defeat Voldy? I think he should just hit Baldy with a bottle of hair-growth potion and a certificate for a nose job."

"SIR! WE DO NOT HAVE SQUIRT! GET OVER IT!" Magnus got so angry over the worker's insistence that he could not have Squirt that he grabbed a huge bag of Twizzlers and threw them at her face. She roared, yes, roared, in an ALL CAPS RAGE, and turned into a lion.

"IT'S RUMBLEROAR, DANA!" shouted someone just coming in the door.

"OMG, SILVER, IT IS!" she shouted back, even though they were right next to each other.

They ran up to the concession stand worker/lion/Rumbleroar, but before they could reach she/it, a blonde boy- or was he a girl?- jumped in front of Rumbleroar. "NO!" the boy shouted in a very high-pitched voice with an awesome British accent, "RUMBLEROAR IS HERE TO TAKE ME TO PIGFARTS! It's on Mars, in case you were wondering."

"So that's what the rocket ship in the parking lot is for," muttered Dana. Silver nodded in agreement, and then whispered something back. Dana laughed, and they both grabbed as many Twizzlers as they could carry, and ran into the same theatre that Anil was waiting in.

During all of this, Magnus had snuck back into the theatre and sat down next to Anil, delivering the horrible news about how only "that damn Harry Potter" was allowed to have Squirt. Anil shrugged, and then walked out of the theatre once again to go get another drink. And returned with Squirt.

Magnus' eyes bugged out. "How did you get that?" he whisper-yelled, as the movie was starting. "That stupid lady/lion wouldn't let me get any!" Anil just shrugged again, turning his attention to the movie.

^.^ ^.^ ^.^

They movie was overall pretty good, and was only interrupted once by Clary's moan. Jace and Clary left as soon as the movie was over, clothes looking very rumpled and hair tangled and matted in an unbelievably messy poof. Isabelle glared at them as they passed. "What?" Clary said snappishly, very unlike her. "We were just playing a very intense game of Sorry!"

Magnus got up to leave, but Anil grabbed his wrist. "Hold on, Magnus," he said nervously. "I have to ask you something." Anil got down on one knee, and Magnus gasped. He hoped the ring would be super sparkly, more so than Edward Cullen- it would look beautiful on his finger.

In the back of the theatre, Dana and Silver were still sitting there, eating Twizzlers, and watching Anil and Magnus with very rapt attention, giggling like little school girls hyped up on Pixy Stix.

Back to the couple. Magnus was quite disappointed when Anil didn't pull out a ring, but instead opened... his chest. Revealing a very small blue person. "T-this is my true form, Magnus. I hope you can accept that." Magnus only squealed, grabbing Smurf Anil and crushing him to his own sparkly chest. "Can't... breathe..." choked out Anil.

Magnus held him for a couple more minutes, and then let him go. "But... there's one more thing," said a blue- turned red- Anil. He lifted his hair up, and Magnus gasped, unable to lift his eyes from the deep maroon lightning scar that was imprinted in the blue skin on Anil's forehead. "I am Anil Harry Potter Smurf. That's how I got the Squirt." Anil then jumped back into his human-self.

"Oh. My. God. Anil! This is wonderful!" Magnus cried.

Anil grinned, all nervousness gone. He got down on one knee once again, and took a deep breath. But before he could say anything, Magnus interrupted him.

"Wow, are you a unicorn, too? I am one lucky guy." Magnus smirked.

Anil glared at him, which wasn't really that effective, since his love for Magnus was shining through his eyes too strongly. "Magnus Bane, I will love you from now until forever. Even when you can't get me any Squirt. You are the one person who I want to spend the rest of my life with. Actually, I don't know... That Jedward is DAMN sexy... I'm just kidding. Will you marry me?" Magnus' yes, though, was drowned out by laughter coming from the back row.

Anil glared as Dana and Silver covered up their mouths, still sniggering, and ran out of the theatre. Anil turned back to Magnus, and they embraced lovingly.

"So, when's the honeymoon?" The purple glares that were left at the doorway were sent another time, and Dana and Silver ran out of the theatre again, laughing all the way.

A/N: Yep. So, that's it. My friend Dana beta-d and edited it, so thank you to her. No thanks to her brother, who kept telling me how weird it was. Do YOU want Magnus, Andrew? I thought not. Um, I guess that's all. I'm used to having really long A/N's, so this is kind of weird for me. Review if you liked it, or if you didn't. May the power of 1000 cupcakes be with you! (And that's quite a lot of power.)

~Silver


End file.
